Personal observations on life

When you say something that you should not have said…

This is me today. I said something that should not have been said. It should not have been said, because it caused anguish and anxiety for some people.

I was upset too. I could not take back what I said, and I agonized over the hurt I caused. It was entirely unnecessary for me to say it, but still I did.

All of us sometimes say things that we should not have said. But, having said it, what can we do?

1. Forgive

You are human. Humans are fallible. Forgive yourself even if the other party has not yet forgiven you. Treat yourself with kindness.

2. Apologise to the other party

A lot of lost ground can be gained back by just apologising. You could just say ‘ I am sorry, I didn’t mean it’ or ‘I don’t really know why I said that’.

3. Resolve to do better next time.

It is a lesson learnt. Resolve to be more mindful of your words and use appropriate filters. Resolve to have control over what you say at all times.

4. Be alert to triggers

If you observe your own behaviour and communication patterns, you will see that you tend to slip up at certain specific situations. For some people it could be after a drink, and for some others the trigger could be tiredness or being overworked. Some people lose their cool when they are hungry and some others when they feel too warm. Learn to recognise these triggers and be extra alert at those times.

5. Get back to normalcy as soon as possible

Re’establish relationships as soon as possible after your brief embarrassing episode. People tend to forget the hurt if treated genuinely nicely soon after. So, don’t wallow in guilt or self-pity. Get back on your feet, and get on with life.

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