Personal observations on life

Toxicity in social gatherings

Social gatherings are the stuff nightmares are made of, for every introvert. However, if we think a little deeper, it emerges that it is the toxicity in social gatherings that put off the introverts, and sometimes even extroverts. The toxicity comes in many forms.

1. Toxic comments

Comments on one’s physical appearance put off most people. These comments are made usually by elderly ladies, though not always. Some people take toxic commenting to a different level, by commenting positively about something negative. For example, if someone is wearing clothes that don’t suit them, they say “Wow you look so good in these clothes..” while she herself and all others know that the truth is the opposite. The innocent victim has just been given an insincere compliment which he/she might believe and wear the same clothes again. That is what these people want.

2. Verbal combats

Very often mothers of school going kids engage in a ‘show off’ competition to see whose child is doing better. It often starts with thinly veiled disparaging remarks about one’s own children, which quickly escalate into full blown boasts about how well they are doing. Mothers whose kids are not doing so well are commisserated with, with ill concealed glee.

3. Lack of stimulation

I cannot count the number of social gatherings in which I desperately wish I was somewhere else. The inane and repetitive talk about mundane stuff gets to you after a while. These parties are so boring and without any kind of intellectual stimulation. If anyone starts talking a little deeper stuff, that person would get silent stares.

In fact, the silver lining in the current Covid 19 times I find is that I don’t have to attend social gatherings.

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